Looking For Happiness In The New Year?

By Author: Susan Dunn
Total Articles: 25
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If happiness seems to elude you, try this new formula!
If you're into personal and professional development, you've probably come across the name of Martin Seligman, Ph.D. He's the Optimism guru, the man who came up with the theory of Learned Optimism. He admitted in an interview to being a born pessimist himself, which is why he has studied optimism for over 25 years, and also to being rather serious in affect. Optimism is the facilitator of all the emotional intelligence competencies, which supposedly increase our success and happiness. His rigorous research has established that optimists accomplish more, live longer, have better health, and enjoy life more. But does all this equal happiness? We're all seeking happiness, aren't we? Recently, Seligman has turned his attention to studying what he calls Authentic Happiness. In a recent article, Pleasure, Meaning & Eudaimonia, Seligman reports important new research addressing the notion that the American public thinks happiness equals pleasure. He calls this the hedonic view, that a life that maximizes the amount of positive feelings and minimizes ...
... the amount of negative feelings is a happy life. In this article he proposes that there are two things wrong with this idea, and that there are, in fact, three paths to happiness. WHAT'S WRONG WITH THE HEDONIC VIEW First of all, that cheery countenance we equate with pleasure - the big smile, bright eyes and ebullient laugh, which is called positive affectivity in psychological circles, is hereditary. Therefore it's normally distributed in the population. This means about half of us just aren't very smiley, and aren't likely to become that way, no matter what. It's hereditary and fixed - like being tall. The second thing wrong with the hedonic view is that a life based on positive feelings of pleasure -- an orgasm, a back rub, and a full stomach - does not bring happiness. He refers, instead, to what Aristotle called Eudaimonia, the Good life, which refers to the pleasures of contemplation - that sort of deep absorption and immersion that we now call flow. >THREE PATHS OF HAPPY LIVES The core thesis in Authentic Happiness is there are three paths to a happy life: 1. The Pleasant Life - which consists of having as many pleasures as possible and having the skills to amplify the pleasures. (The Hollywood view, as Seligman calls it.) 2. The Good Life - which consists of knowing what your signature strengths are, and then recrafting your work, love, friendship, leisure and parenting to use those strengths to have more flow in your life. 3. The Meaningful Life - which consists of using your signature strengths in the service of something you believe is larger than you. IMPORTANT NEW EVIDENCE: PLEASURE DOESN'T ADD TO SATISFACTION Two recent research studies, done independently, have confirmed that successfully pursuing pleasure doesn't necessarily lead to life satisfaction. What does? Pursuing the Good Life or the Meaningful Life. Hedonic motives - pursuing pleasure, enjoyment and comfort, don't correlate with happiness, but eudaimonic motives do - pursuing personal growth, development of your potential, achieving personal excellence, and contributing to the lives of others. SO WHAT'S A GOOD PLAN FOR HAPPINESS IN THE NEW YEAR? 1. STRENGTHS If you want to have more happiness and life satisfaction this coming year, a good place to start would be to take the StrengthsFinderâ„¢ Profile (www.susandunn.cc/courses.htm) and discover what your unique signature strengths are. This assessment, compiled from interviews of over 2,000,000 subjects by the Gallup organization, is based on the premise that because our parents, teachers, managers, bosses and therapists have focused on our weaknesses and tried to make us well-rounded, most of us don't even know what our innate strengths are. Once you discover your top 5 innate strengths from the 34 possibilities - Activator, Focus, Maximizer, Intellection, Empathy, Deliberativeness, Futuristic, etc.), you can achieve consistent near-excellence without much stress if you recraft your life around them. This would give you the Good Life! It's important to understand that these strengths are innate. We were born with them and will always have them, even if they've become dormant. And because they are innate, and come to us easily and naturally, we aren't always aware that they're strengths. We may think everyone has them and just doesn't use them, or not value them at all. When you take the profile, you receive your top 5 strengths in order, and the chances of anyone else having your identical profile are infinitesimal. You really are unique and so is your way of looking at the world, your values, the way you make decisions and solve problems, and the way you relate to others. I've worked with many clients using this profile and found both premises to be true. Some people don't know their strengths; other people know those traits well, but have been conditioned to consider them weaknesses. One of the best things about the profile is that it gives us 34 new badly needed terms for describing our unique ways of interacting with the world and others. Someone with Empathy bases his or her decisions on something completely different than someone strong in Focus. The Deliberative person does all the research and sees all the pitfalls, but doesn't like to make decisions. Turn those decisions over to the Activator. He or she makes decisions rapidly and tests reality by taking action. Knowing this about yourself and others can inform you for parenting, making your marriage work, managing, or working collaboratively with others. If your child was born with Command, he or she is bossy. It's a strength. If your co-worker has Ideation, he or she simply loves ideas, for the sake of ideas, and this is a strength to recognize and work with. If your boss has Maximizer, he or she will always be working to polish the pearl. Expect them to look at you, others, and projects as works-in-progress, and to always be pushing to higher goals. If your manager has Focus and Intellection, expect his or her decisions to be based on the success of the project at hand, not the feelings of those involved. If your client has Empathy and Adaptability, expect him or her to be orienting around feelings and a desire to go with the flow rather than forcing issues. 2. Next, write your Personal Mission Statement. (http://www.franklincovey.com/missionbuilder/index.html ). Take the time to define your values, principles, and what matters most to you in your life. Then use this as a touchtone for making decisions. 3. Attach meaning to your life. It's up to you to do this; no one can do it for you. If you consider your job just writing checks, you'll view it differently than if you consider it making this business a success. Find something bigger than you you believe in, and orient your life in this direction. 4. Develop your emotional intelligence, and this includes learning optimism. You'll need these skills to maximize the potential of your strengths, and to move beyond pleasure to life satisfaction. In the New Year, have your pleasures, because pleasures are great, but knowing your strengths and recrafting your life around them and then using your strengths with emotional intelligence in the service of something meaningful to you will bring more life satisfaction. About the Author Susan Dunn, The EQ Coach, GLOBAL EQ. Emotional intelligence coaching to enhance all areas of your life - career, relationships, midlife transition, resilience, self-esteem, parenting. EQ Alive! - excellent, accelerated, affordable EQ coach certification. Susan is the author of numerous ebooks, is widely published on the Internet, and a regular speaker for cruise lines. For marketing services go here.