The Right Guidance When You Have New Stepchildren

By Author: Kathrine Bartosiewicz
Total Articles: 7
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If you decide to get married, you may not only get a new partner for life, but step children that will become part of your family. You will have to learn how to deal with these new children in your everyday life, each of which will have a variety of personality traits that are different. So let's look at some of the best approaches for getting along with your new step children.

The first thing you should establish in some form of open communication, such as family meetings that occur where all of you can have a chance to speak. There is no need to make this into a mandatory scheduled occurrence, but a more relaxed get-together where everyone can talk openly and calmly. As with anyone that becomes the step parent, it can be very tricky the first couple of weeks. Communication is the key to relating with your step children, letting them know that they can ask you any questions that they want. A necessary component of this new relationship is the support of your spouse in regard to open dialogue and your new position in the family. If there are any problems or misunderstandings, it's better to discuss them than to brush ...
... them under the table.

Make sure you take an interest in the lives of your step children. As a new parent, this won't always be easy, but it's essential if you're ever to play a significant role in their lives. Start with something simple like asking what their favorite music is or what they like to do on the weekends. By getting to know the step children and little more each day, you'll seem like a real person that they might want to interact with.

Though you may not find this a very hard initial task, it can be for some people. By showing them that you are interested in their lives, it might open them up to more dialogue and further interactions. After doing this, it may seem as if this strategy is not working, but in the end, your sincerity will prevail.

A big error a lot of new stepparents make, if there are children brought into the marriage by both spouses, is to treat their children differently than they treat their stepchildren. This won't always be easy because your normal instinct will be to favor your own kids, but you must avoid doing this at all costs. So keep in mind that for the success of your new family, you must treat all the children brought into the marriage the same. But you must be flexible in your treatment of the kids as well. Sometimes, mainly with older kids, it will be impossible to apply the same rules to them as to younger kids. Your relationship with your step-kids may never be the same as with your own kids, but it's still important that you treat all of the kids the same. This is particularly true when you are handing out rewards or punishments. Make certain not to allow your children to exhibit bad behavior and go unpunished and then punish a stepchild for the same behavior.

Despite differences that may arise while raising these children, working from the same mindset is important for it to succeed. Raising children from birth is challenging in its own right, but being a step parent means having to take on a new role with children who also have to get used to you. Understand that this relationship with your step children will be a work in progress from the very day you begin. The step children will be more open to a relationship with you as long as you let them know that you are there to help them no matter what.

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