The Great Slipper Debate

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OF ALL the articles devoted to the subject of The Lord of the Rings in recent months, one area has remained largely unexplored by the mainstream media - the vexed question of whether or not the Balrog wore bedroom slippers.
Internet chatrooms have raged with arguments about whether the ancient evil spirit happened to be slipper-clad when it dragged Gandalf down to the depths of Moria in The Fellowship of the Ring.
"We know the Balrog was surrounded by darkness, of its own choosing," pointed out one contributor to what has become known to Tolkien fans as The Great Balrog Slippers Debate. "What would the Balrog be wearing on its feet right after being dragged out of bed that would give rise to such characteristic black smouldering smoke? What else but fluffy bedroom slippers!"
But how about Gandalf's comment that he clutched at the Balrog's heel and "set my teeth in it like a hunting hound, and tasted venom", retorted another chatroom correspondent. "Would Gandalf have tasted venom through a fluffy bedroom slipper? Indeed, would Gandalf - no matter how desperate his situation - ever bite a fluffy bedroom slipper? ...
... Nowhere in the whole of the canon is Gandalf described as chewing on footwear."
If the Balrog was indeed wearing slippers, it has joined a growing legion of slipper aficionados around the globe. Ever since actresses Gywneth Paltrow, Cameron Diaz and Kate Hudson were photographed wearing ugg boots, the slippers' star has been in the ascendant.
Despite their humble reputation, slippers prompt extraordinarily strong reactions. For every person prepared to talk at length about the general fabulousness of slippers, there is another who regards the slipper as only marginally less risible than the culotte or the puffball skirt.
Such is the stigma attached to slippers that few people interviewed as background for this feature were willing to be named. "I always proclaim the delights of slippers to friends, but I don't know if I'm ready to come out publicly as a slipper-wearer. They're considered middle-class and middle-aged," remarked a Wellington man who recently rediscovered the joys of the slipper after a 20-year hiatus.
He has firm views on slipper-wearing, believing that the slipper has its roots firmly in the home setting and should not be viewed by an external audience. "My wife mows the lawn in her slippers, which I get very het up about. That is crossing the line between having respect for the slipper as a domestic item, and treating it as a shoe.
"My own slippers are made of brown suede. They have a woolly interior, but they are not chock-full of sheepskin. Ideally, what I'd like is a pair of real leather slippers that I could wear with a velvet smoking jacket at my club. That is if I had a club, of course."
IN New Zealand, the patron saint of slippers in undoubtedly Chloe, the Wainuiomata woman whose tiger slippers achieved iconic status after an appearance on Gary McCormick's Heartland series. Internationally, slipper-wearers' greatest role model must surely be poet W H Auden, who, while still an unknown, was asked what effect he thought success might have upon him. "I believe that I would always wear my carpet slippers," he replied. And he did - sometimes teamed with evening dress.
The world's most expensive slippers are the ruby slippers worn by Judy Garland in The Wizard of Oz film, which sold for US$ 660,000 (NZ$ 1 million). Controversial British artist Tracey Emin auctioned off her pair - drab, but with with Emin's name embroidered in gigantic lettering on the side - for 5500 (NZ$ 15,500).
The slipper has a distinguished lineage: the slipper and the sandal are the forerunners of all modern types of shoe. Inuit and North American Indians wore soft-skin uggs remarkably like ugg boots, while the Celts wore untanned soft leather shoes with the fur left on the inside of the shoe.
Slippers and shoes parted company in the 17th century, when the first true heel was invented. After that, women's footwear in particular became increasingly restrictive. Chinese women who had their feet bound were almost immobilised by the pain; in Victorian England, stylish women suffered dislocated toes from trying to conform to the fashion for tiny feet.
For many generations, women's shoes were so small, tight and uncomfortable that women were unable to enjoy physical activity or even take part in social occasions for any length of time.
One school of thought argues that the evolution of women's footwear is a direct result of the feminist movement.
The slipper, which represents the ultimate triumph of comfort above social conformity, is now available in a vast range of styles. In addition to the Uggs, we have the bootee, the moccasin, the scuff, the hard-soled driving slipper and the fluffy mule.
Overseas slipper wearers have the choice of anything from embroidered Moroccan slip-ons in butter-soft leather to pointed vamp slippers in red velvet - not to mention microwavable slippers, Get Slim Slippers and the handy Bachelor Mop Slippers ("Put these comfy slippers on and you'll be able to clean your floors while you go to the fridge for a beer").
However, it has to be said that the range of slippers in New Zealand leans heavily towards frumpiness.
Men will have to search far and wide to find a slipper that is not brown, maroon or navy blue; women have little to choose from other than sheepskin slippers, matronly slip-ons or pastel-covered scuffs that shed fake fur with every step.
New Zealand shops do, of course, offer a variety of novelty slippers, but the true slipper wearer spurns the novelty slipper as being both impractical and insufficiently warm.
ONE exception to the dreary Kiwi slipper rule is the New Zealand footwear manufacturer Kumfs, which has had great success with its funky unisex slippers made of polar fleece and featuring Doc Marten-like stitching. They're washable and have a flexible sole that enables them to be worn outside - two important innovations in slipper technology.
Kumfs sales director John Robertson has noticed a resurgence of interest in slippers, particularly in the non-traditional styles. "The old velvet ones are dying out in the United States, you simply don't see them any more. In New Zealand, they used to be the only slippers available," he says.
"It is certainly true that there are some people who would never wear slippers, but there are lots of people who have now figured out how good they are."
Jane (not her real name) is one of the latter group. "In my trendy partygoing years, I used to wear Norsewear socks around flats - possibly influenced by Flashdance," she says.
"Now I have short Ugg-boot style slippers lined with sheepskin. They are incredibly wonderful. I find them cosy and spiritually comforting. I wear them inside, and when I drop off my son to school, but nowhere else.
"My son, who is 11, is resisting slippers - he thinks they're for girls. But I have found some that look like trainers, and he has agreed to wear them around the house."
Slippers are the subject of one of New Zealand's best-known children's stories: Joy Watson's Grandpa's Slippers, which chronicles a grandfather's attempts to prevent his wife from binning his ancient but much-loved carpet slippers.
In response to the book, several classes of schoolchildren have written about their own favourite objects and posted the results in Internet chatrooms. Encouragingly, many of these young readers have written not about mobile phones, skateboards or Dragon Ball Z cards, but about slippers.
"My name is Matthew," wrote one young contributor. "At home I have an old pair of slippers. My Mum wants to chuck them out. I want to keep them as they are my really cool ones and I want to keep them." Stand your ground, Matthew.