Clap Your Hands

By Author: Tim Mack
Total Articles: 12
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Did anyone ever notice that "Clap Your Hands" commercial on TV? I'm just so glad its finaly off the air. I just couldn't watch the commercial without cracking up.

It makes me laugh because of Singapore. One day I got into a cab with two of my friends, and one of my friends had a bad backache, so he told the Singapore Cab driver to take us somewhere where you could get a good back rub.

So the driver takes us to this place thats way of the beaten track, and then points at a staircase to go up. So we walk up this staircase, and we see this Lady standing there, and there is only one table.

She motions us to sit down, and then she brings us all a beer.

Then she stands next to the table and says. "What can I do for you?"

My friend explains to her that. "The Cab driver said you could get a good back rub here."

She smiles and says yes. "We have the best here."

Then she claps her hands and a curtain opens. The open curtain reveals a whole bunch of women standing there in skimpy outfits.

My friend says. "No not that."

Then she claps her ...
... hands, and another curtain opens up revealing more women in skimpy outfits.

Then my friend says. "My back aches, thats all, I have on my mind."

Then she claps her hands again, and all the women behind curtain number one start to take off their skimpy outfits.

My friend says. "No, just a back rub."

Then she claps her hands again, and all the women behind curtain number two start taking all their skimpy outfits off.

Then I said to her. "You don't understand, my friend only came here for a back rub."

Then she claps her hands again, and this totaly naked women jumps up on the table and starts wrapping her thighs around my neck.

I said. "No, back rub, just a back rub."

Then she claps her hands again. "And says okay back rub."

I said. "Yes, back rub."

Then she claps her hands again and the woman starts taking my shirt off.

I started to say to her that. "Its my friend that wanted the back rub and not me."

But I could see she was ready to clap her hands again. So, I just said. "Okay." Affraid of what would happen next if she claped her hands again.

So now this woman is giving me a back rub, and my friend says to the Lady. "What about the two of us?

So of course she claps her hands again, and one woman rushes over, and then she claps her hands again, and another woman rushes over. Then the Lady claps again, and the woman that was rubing my back walks away.

So, I'm thinking good. "The Lady has everything figured out at last."

So I gulp down the rest of my beer, thinking that my friends will just get their back rub now, and then we can get out of this strange place.

But no, I was wrong. The Lady says to me. "Would you like another beer?"

I said. "Thank you, but no, I'm fine."

Then the Lady says. "Come with me."

I said. "Come with you where?"

Then she says. "You have to get the second part of your back rub now. But I need you to lay down for it."

I said. "Why do I need to lay down for a back rup?"

She gave me a strange look and said. "Why do you have to ask so many questions?"

So then, she takes me into this room and points and says. "Lay here on your stomach."

Then she claps her hands again and before I know it a bunch of women are rubing their hands all over my back.

Then after a few minutes, the Lady says to me. "Turn over on your back."

So, I turn over and then the women start pouring all this lotion on me and then they start rubing up and down my chest. Then I feel one of the women lift my arms and pull them back all the way back behind my head. Then I feel some hands around my waist, and then in a split second, I feel my pants and shorts come sliding off.

Then I said. "No not this."

The Lady said. "Whats wrong?"

I said. "I don't want to have sex, just a back rub."

She says. "Okay no sex, but we can't do this with your clothes on."

I said okay. "But no sex."

As I said the words no sex, I could then feel the women spreading my legs wide apart. Then I felt the women spreading the lotion and rubing it all up and down my thighs. Then the women turned me over on my side and started to spread and rub the lotion all over my buttocks.

Then I heard laughing. I asked. "What are they laughing at?"

Then the Lady said. "The butterfly, they're laughing at the butterfly on your butt."

Then the Lady asked. "Why do you have a butterfly on your butt?"

I said. "I didn't think anyone would see it there."

She kept her promise, there was no sex, but was that ever one heck of a rub down. I just couldn't figure why they needed so many women to do the job.

When we walked out of the place at last.

I asked my friends. "Did the two of you have the same kind of rub down?"

They both replied. "No, just our backs."

I said. "I don't get it. Why would that Lady have the women do all that to me, and only have the women rub your backs?"

One of my friends smiled and said. "She just wanted to see you with your clothes off."

Then my other friend said. "Yeah, I think that Lady had the hots for you."

I guess I will really never know the real answer to that question, but whatever the reason, it was a great rub down. But I will always think of that Lady in Singapore if I see someone claping their hands a lot."
About the Author This segement taken from Tiffany Stone. http://www.freewebs.com/episodesofjacques/tiffanystone.htm