How To Comment To Form Relationships In 7 Easy Steps

By Author: Cindy Lighter
Total Articles: 10
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If I comment on your blog, it's not for the sole purpose of getting a link. I can buy links, earn them, submit for them, write articles, win awards, be written about, publish a press release, create a podcast. so what the heck do I need you to link to me for? It would be nice butA link is a consolation prize, not an end in itself. If I comment on your blog, it's my way of saying hi, a precursor to a relationship. If we were to use the metaphor of dating, the first comment is the stage where I decide if you're worth asking out.

Step One - Stalking. I read a blog for at least a week, looking for common ground, and seeing if the blogger writes in a style that leaves a place for replies other than good job. The content has to speak to me, so that I want to say, fantastic job, thank you, or and you know what else, or I respect you but you're SO WRONG about this. You can't expect people to write their most compelling work every day, but if I don't see at least one memorable shot after a week or so of hanging around and reading archive posts, I'm off. Because if I'm not electrified, and I'm looking to market to people ...
... like me, well, they're not going to be electrified either. Sometimes I ignore this rule if their audience loves them for some reason I don't understand, mostly because some of my readers have the same mercy on me. ;)

Step Two - Introductions. I comment once, leaving my full name, and making a concerted effort to truly contribute to the conversation. (I make an effort every time, but this first time, I want to be noticed, maybe even impressive.) Usually the first comment is without leaving my link unless the browser fills it out for me. If comments are moderated, I may come back if it's really important to me and I remember. (If your template allows it, enable a subscribe to comments plug-in. Ours doesn't, one reason I want to change it.) If not, it's a quick way to lose my attention, which is why I try to only moderate comments when we're all on vacation, or if key members are out sick.

Step Three - Flirting. I comment twice. This time I'm looking for a response from the publisher within a few days. If the person who writes the posts isn't responding to me, but is to other people in that thread, I think that's BS. Every contributor is important. I don't want a relationship with a sometimesy person, which also means I'll probably never, ever buy from them. If you won't reply to my comments, you won't reply to post-sales emails if I need help. I'll probably still read though, because you can't judge the sum total of a person on their flaws. If the person doesn't comment at all, either because they have a high traffic site which always produces 25 or more comments per post, I will cut them a little slack. But I'll probably read less often, and stop bothering myself to comment, unless I observe interaction between commenters.

Step Four - Yes, I'm asking you out on a date. I comment three times. With this third comment, if I make it this far at that site, and they respond or their community responds, I'm moving them up to my priority list to read, link to, write about and reference.

Step Five - I Talk About You All the Time. I share my favorite reads. I may share your posts on del.icio.us, Digg, Sphinn, PlugIM, BUMPzee, StirredUp, Stumble Upon, Facebook, anywhere I'll see them more often.

Step Six - We Fall In Like. I bond with you, my new friend. We might poke each other on Facebook or email each other. We may have our own inside jokes on each other's blogs. My motives are simple - make a new friend. If anything else comes out of it, that's great. If there is something I can do for them, even better. If one day, they do something for me too, that's awesome. It doesn't always happen that way, and that's okay with me. If it doesn't, I still get credit when I comment, which I'll do
in bursts of frequency, and at the minimum, traffic and/or links will come from it. And the community that posts there often may post over at my blog, and if they do, I'll mention them from time to time, and add them to my links. Who knows, that friend might lead me to another friend who wants the same serious business relationship I'm looking for. If it does work out, it's magic. They'll write about me, they'll link to me, they'll reference my posts, they'll add me to their Blogroll, they'll thank me in public, they'll write me privately to set up partnerships, and I reciprocate or initiate the same with them. Which results in much more traffic, much better links, an increase in both our audiences and in sales, as well as, a new friendship.

Step Seven - The Mutual Appreciation Party Begins. I Repeat steps Five and Six as much as time allows. Again, thinking about this logically, what would you be willing to do for a person who was doing that for you? I've had people do those things for me, and I'd bend over backwards for them anytime, even if they only got to step five. Successful businesses are built on good relationships. You don't have to be best friends with everyone - in fact, I'm really big on not working with people who expect something for nothing, abuse my time, or think that because I'm well-known in certain circles, this means I somehow owe them something. However, every good blog traffic method is built on being a good neighbor in the blogosphere. No blog is an island.
Partner at FreeTrafficTip.com
This article by Tinu Abayomi-Paul, Partner at FreeTrafficTip.com