Get Your Ex Back The Smart Way

By Author: Jim DeSantis
Total Articles: 103
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Getting an ex back is the fantasy of millions of people who have been dumped by someone they thought was their soul mate. It is a painful and shocking experience but, if you ex still has love for you, your breakup can be reversed with the right techniques.

Over centuries, dreamers and poets spoke of love as an idealized state of mind that they created. But in reality, authentic love between a couple happens after the exciting newness of the first few passionate encounters wear off. Love becomes real and starts to develop after the early excitement dies down. The danger is that we take our partner for granted, believing they will love us no matter how we offend them. Taking our partner for granted plants the seeds of a breakup.

When you are dating someone, you are just not ready to consider the bad that might happen. You only see the good and a happy future. One of those things that you need to be ready for is what to do if the relationship ends abruptly and without warning. Do you go on with your life, licking your wounds as if nothing has happened, or do you do the smart things needed to get your ex back?

Perhaps ...
... you have been on the verge of giving up because your friends and family members may not be very supportive of you trying to get your ex back. They may advise you to let go of the relationship and find someone better. But, giving up on your ex and starting over is not as easily done as said.

If you are wondering whether you can get them back you need to do some soul searching. How you proceed depends on what you did or did not do during the relationship. Many times our partners tell us in advance what we are doing that upsets them. Many times we make the mistake of not listening or ignoring their warnings. When this happens, we are shocked when we are dumped.

Well, if you are really serious about getting your girlfriend back, then you should be totally honest with yourself. You need to admit where you messed up the relationship and, if they give you another chance, resolve to not repeat your behavior. That's a good starting point toward mending the relationship - admitting your fault.

What if your girlfriend is ignoring you? It doesn't mean the relationship is finally over. Perhaps, she is only ignoring you temporarily. You just have to wait for the right timing to contact her again, especially if both of you have just broken up and test the waters. If she is open to talking with you, there is hope.

If you are really serious abut getting your girlfriend back, you need to understand one thing. There is most likely a main cause for the break up to occur. The problem can lie with her or maybe with you. Or it may lie with both of you. Whatever the situation is, you will have to try to resolve it.

Even though what you see as wrong with your partner may be true and is really how you feel, you do not want to point a finger of blame at your partner. Doing that may cause your ex to perceive you as blaming it all on them and will make your ex want to avoid you more. Concentrate only on pointing out what you did wrong. If your ex does not reciprocate with what they may have done wrong, you may have a losing cause. Both sides must be willing to change or any reunion will only be temporary. The old habits will again destroy the relationship, perhaps, for good. What you want to do now is to understand this principle and use it to your advantage.

At the same time there are some mistakes you want to void. For example, one mistake that many guys make is to try to call their girlfriend too often, in an attempt to get their girlfriend back. This is a sign of desperation and no girls like guys who are desperate.

Of course, there are many other common mistakes beside the one mentioned above. For starters, a guideline you want to follow is to avoid doing things that make your partner perceive you as being emotionally desperate. Keep your efforts for reunion above emotional arguments and stick to factual arguments. Emotional arguments make you appear "needy".

Relationships come with no guarantees, and when you decide to enter into a relationship with that special one, there is no telling what may happen. Naturally, you hope that your feelings for each other will last and that the relationship will endure until the end of time. But what happens if the relationship comes to an unexpected ending? Take some time out to determine what you want to do next. You can choose to move on, or you may decide that you really want to get back together with your ex.

I hope this helps.

Jim DeSantis is a retired Pastoral Counselor who edits 35 blogs and websites. Jim provides more information about how toget your ex-love back - here!