Who Am I?

By Author: PietyDate PietyDate.
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Someone once said, “Be who you is, ‘cause if you ain’t who you is, you is who you ain’t’.

Someone once said, “Be who you is, ‘cause if you ain’t who you is, you is who you ain’t’.

Most of us have some kind of picture of an ideal for ourselves, and for a partner. It’s not necessarily who we really are, but it’s who we want to be, or who we think we should be – the perfect me. These ideals are sometimes so deeply ingrained that we don’t even think to articulate them, but they are powerful, causing us to constantly measure ourselves and others according to them.

When hopping onto the dating scene, the internal pressure to live up to our ideals or standard of perfection is heightened enormously. This takes a lot of effort, but we are so energized by the prospect of a new relationship, that we’re usually willing to put in whatever it takes. However, this is mostly unsustainable and may be one reason why so many relationships end after a few months. The real me, or the real partner, starts to show through and then we’re both disappointed, ...
... thinking we’ve been deceived.

The conflict between who I really am, and who I think I should be, can be quite intense and can cause a great deal of personal anxiety, despondency and hypervigilance. By this I mean that one is constantly alert, double or second guessing, in order to delight the new partner and make the best impression. When one is rewarded with acceptance and appreciation, the more the need to keep up the performance is reinforced, and one can become convinced one is on the right track towards becoming that ideal. When one’s efforts are met with indifference or disapproval, it can be devastating because it reinforces that one’s efforts weren’t good enough and that really hurts. This can eventually even lead to depression.

Silly game, isn’t it? Imagine being able to accept yourself warts and all as you really are, and be gracious to yourself? Imagine being able to allow yourself to be seen for who you really are, known for who you really are, and being okay with that, not in an arrogant way, but humbly accepting the reality that you are flawed and so is everyone else.

Imagine using this insight to drive you to God and to invite His Holy Spirit to change you into the unique person He designed you to be, to be transformed into the image of His Son Jesus, rather than into your, your parents’, pastors’ or peers’ idea of who you should perfectly be.

Our faults and flaws can keep us humble and grounded in reality, as long as we can admit them to ourselves and to God. Our strengths are a gift from Him and can keep us grateful. Humility and gratitude make it hard to make comparisons and keep scores, especially when one has to trust God through His Spirit to grow one into likeness of His Son, to represent Him well. After all, that’s really what we were designed for! None of us know exactly what that looks like, but we know it will include being full of love, peace, joy, patience, goodness, kindness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

The Apostle Paul wrote, “My response is to get down on my knees before the Father, this magnificent Father who parcels out all heaven and earth. I ask him to strengthen you by his Spirit—not a brute strength but a glorious inner strength—that Christ will live in you as you open the door and invite him in. And I ask him that with both feet planted firmly on love, you'll be able to take in with all followers of Jesus the extravagant dimensions of Christ's love. Reach out and experience the breadth! Test its length! Plumb the depths! Rise to the heights! Live full lives, full in the fullness of God. God can do anything, you know—far more than you could ever imagine or guess or request in your wildest dreams! He does it not by pushing us around but by working within us, his Spirit deeply and gently within us.”
Being a Christian dating will likely be especially challenging, Make sure you seek help and advice from other Christians.

“Be who you is”, trusting the power of God’s Spirit to do the necessary work in you, according to His plan, rather than your self effort, ‘cause that way God is glorified when you turn out fantastic!
Resource: https://www.pietydate.com/