Neurotic Imposters?

By Author: Claire Chapman
Total Articles: 2
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Have you ever had any of these feelings?
·feel as though you are about to be "found out" in the job that you do
·Lack self confidence and can't quite believe you are worthy of the job / salary / position that you are in
·feel like you just got lucky
I know myself, and from talking to friends, that as we move through different levels of career and role that this often can happen to us for a number of reasons. What brought this to mind today was reading an article this week on "beware the neurotic imposter bosses" in The Daily Mail (Friday August 26th p20). It got me thinking about how we treat ourselves and the consequences that this can have in a number of areas of our lives.

The article in the Daily Mail talks about the type of people who may feel like this. They are generally high achievers, have brains and talent (even if they wouldn't say this!) and may be moving towards the top of their field. Behind all this though is the "neurotic imposter" who is out to sabotage what success they have, by the fact that they fail to believe in themselves and what they do. In terms of some ways ...
... that this may show itself - some of these may be familiar to you - it's that sinking feeling when someone says "Oh, you're the expert on that, aren't you" when your heart is saying, "me, really? No, I don't think so, I mean, I know something....but expert??!" Get the picture? Ever had this happen? I know as I have moved through jobs as I have been recognised at doing a great job at one level I have had the same mental challenges of feeling that really I'm just not good enough.
What are the consequences of this? Many of you will know them for yourselves, and they start with how you feel, that feeling of slight discomfort or dread. In addition to this, and this is what the article focuses on, it may lead to you not only damaging your own career through a lack of self belief, but because of how you drive those around you causing low morale for them, hamper decision making and stifling innovation.
So, what can you do if you are feeling like this? I've got some key tips to help you focus on avoiding feeling like a neurotic imposter, and moving yourself to being a "deserving & confident individual" How much better does that sound??!
1. Begin with the end in mind. This is all about thinking about the right attitude to show yourself as that deserving and confident individual in your work. Can you tell people clearly what you do? Set yourself up for success with a positive mindset about your new work. Understand what success looks like, both in terms of what the company wants and in terms of what it will take you to feel that you are "really doing it".
2. Create some positive affirmations to help you focus on the great things you have already achieved, and which have gained you this position. If you feel troubled by one particular area, use this to turn around for a positive. For example, if you feel that you have problems with confidence, your affirmation may be "I am becoming more confident day by day. Others witness how confident I am".
3. Look after yourself. Recognise that you need to set yourself some learning time. This was one of the areas that I found hardest when I transitioned to a new role, from one I had been in for 4 years and been an "expert" in. By understanding what success looks like you are more likely to be successul, however you need to understand that you won't be at 100% straight away - and that that's ok. Give yourself this permission to learn from the new situation.
4. Take the new learnings and keep a journal so you can see daily how far you are travelling on the road to mastery.
5. Look after yourself - don't spend all your time at work. Factor in some fun stuff, or at the least some pampering and relaxation when you get in. All work and no play makes Jill a dull girl!
6. Find out what you need to do ... and do it. Get clear on your objectives ,and how your role fits into the wider picture. How does it fit within your team, department, company, competition? Think about what you need to become a "master" at your work
7. Set yourself some realistic goals for when you start that position, or start to change your mindset. Rate yourself on where you are now on a scale of 1- 10, and then decide what your goal is in terms of how you want to feel, what you want to see, and what you want to hear when you hear people talking about how you do that job.
8. Get some support. This may be understanding who will help and support you in your role, anyone who can act as a mentor for you, someone who is safe for you to talk to when you get stuck, someone who knows the situation you have gone into.
9. Reviewing the situation....set up some time to review how you are doing. Can you get feedback - see feedback as a learning opportunity, and watch out for positive and developmental trends. What will take you to the next level?
10. Enjoy it. You have reached it already - it's taking your power away to keep wondering what is around the corner. Put in a strategy that works for you to turn off the gremlin voice that tells you that you aren't good enough. You've already done it. You'll do it again. Celebrate it!! Some extra quick tips for you...
If you're a boss of someone you suspect feels like a neurotic imposter....think about what you can do to support them
When you are parenting...think about what expectations you are setting with your children. Are they realistic yet stretching? How woudl you feel if you were them? Does that change your perspective?
For yourself...ask yourself what would make the biggest difference to how you feel about your job...and do it.

About the Author The Fabulous Coaching Company is run by Claire Chapman a qualified life coach. To find out more or to book an initial no obligation consultation email info@fabulous-coaching-company.com, or call 01949 837247. For more information on The Fabulous Coaching Company you can also view www.fabulous-coaching-company.com where you can also sign up for a copy of her fortnightly ezine Fabulosity