Coping With The Aftertaste Left By A Bad Divorce

By Author: James Walsh
Total Articles: 68
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Divorce is not a happy occasion for anyone because it signifies the collapse of a dream. It has a very negative psychological effect on children whose whole world is turned upside down.

They are forced to live with only one parent, while the other parent gets limited visitation rights. Their upbringing becomes lopsided. The family assets get divided between the two partners and there is a drastic fall in their wealth and income. The investment in terms of time and money that the partners had been making in the relationship goes waste and they are forced to start all over again with another relationship.

The spouses, especially the one upon whom divorce papers were served unexpectedly, go through tremendous emotional turmoil, stress and anxiety. Many slip into chronic depression and develop suicidal tendencies. Such psychological trauma has the potential to ruin one's entire life. But it need not be so. You can do various things to bring your life back on track. Some of these are given below:

Leverage Your Social Circle

The circle of your friends and relatives can provide tremendous emotional ...
... support. They are the people you can be close to and trust. Talking about your problems with them can have a cathartic effect on your soul and help lighten the emotional baggage that you are carrying. To improve your mood, you should visit their houses and plan weekend outings with them so that your mind gets distracted and you put some mental distance between your present and the painful episode of divorce.

Take up a Job

After divorce, many women find themselves in the lurch financially. The situation worsens if they get child custody and the husband is too poor to pay them maintenance. The best thing to do in such a situation is to take up a job. This will not only put some much-needed money into your hands, but also you will get to step out of the house and strike new friendships at the office.

Do Yoga or Go to Gym

Yoga, the ancient Indian physical and spiritual discipline, is a great new craze that is sweeping through the Western world. It has been scientifically proven to considerably reduce stress and anxiety, apart from building physical flexibility. Yoga, coupled with meditation, is your ticket to a stress-free existence after divorce. If you are not the Yoga-type, then you should take up any sports activity such as swimming or go to the gym or an aerobic class.

Enter a New Romantic Relationship

When you divorce, what you actually miss the most is intimacy with another individual. You want to be close with another person and confide your problems and secrets in him or her. The emotional support you get through a romantic relationship elevates your mood, releases positive chemicals in the brain and reduces depression as well as the feeling of loneliness.

Join a Support Group

Joining a support group is a great help in reducing post-divorce blues. In the group, you get to meet many other divorced people who are going through the same tough phase of life as you. You can tell them your story and exchange notes about how to tackle the problems all of you are facing. The support groups offer an excellent opportunity to socialise. In mixed-gender groups, many people are able to strike up romantic relationships, some of which lead to marriage!

Travel and See the World

Travelling is a very effective way to come out of the pit of negative emotions that you find yourself in after divorce. Experiencing new cultures and countries makes you realise how big the world is, and how insignificant your own personal problems seem in comparison. There are many memories attached to your family house and even the neighbourhood where you were living when the divorce occurred. Removing yourself away from your physical location, even temporarily, can help you mentally distance yourself from your divorce and dull the emotional pain.

See a Professional Counsellor

If all the above measures are unable to help you, you need professional help. There are many counsellors whom you can meet. They have special skills and training to enable victims of a bad divorce to come out of their trauma and repair emotional damage. You should go through Yellow Pages, search online or talk to your friends to find a counsellor suitable for your needs. Do not hesitate to change your counsellor midway if you think he or she is unable to give you the kind of assistance that you require.

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see http://www.quickie-divorce.com