Divorce, Infidelity And The Effect On Society

By Author: James Walsh
Total Articles: 68
Comment this article

Then there is the kind of divorce which is abruptly announced by one partner and takes his or her spouse by surprise.

One of the divorces that carries the most emotional intensity occurs due to infidelity of the spouse. In this, either the partner who is having an affair announces his or her decision to go for a divorce or he or she is eventually found out and the other partner files for divorce in a fit of rage or hurt. The spouse who was betrayed feels terrible not only because of the disintegration of the family, but also because he or she feels replaced by somebody else who may be more attractive or younger. The victimised spouse gets a feeling of having been abandoned and betrayed.

There are many reasons why incidents of extramarital affairs are increasing in the society and why it has become a common cause of breaking up families. The modern lifestyle offers many opportunities to strike up romantic relationships outside of marriage. In an office, male and female colleagues assemble every day and rub shoulders. It is quite normal to see married people having affairs with office workers. Affairs can also begin ...
... at any place such as a sports club or gym where people assemble regularly. It is quite easy today to keep in touch with one's lover through email or Internet chat without anyone getting to know about it.

Few marriages can survive a bout of infidelity by one of the partners. This is because a martial relationship is based on mutual trust. The lives of married partners get intertwined in many ways. They combine their income to buy family assets, upgrade their lifestyle and give a good upbringing to their children. Both of them emotionally support and nurture each other and provide a shoulder to lean on when the chips are down. They also share each other's secrets and form an intimate and close relationship.

Infidelity affects the victimised partner in many ways. It has a deep emotional impact on him or her and the entire episode comes as a shock. Many people go into chronic depression and may even try to commit suicide as they feel used and abandoned.

When people first get to know about the infidelity of their partner, the very first feeling they experience is denial. Whatever evidence and proof they get to see of their partner's extramarital affair, they simply refuse to believe that such a thing can happen to their marriage. There must be a mistake somewhere. Everything has been going fine in our marriage, they think. Many people would let years pass by living in denial. However, in these cases, honesty is the best policy and the sooner you come to accept that there is some problem with your marriage, the better it is, regardless of what happens to your relationship with your spouse.

Once you have accepted that your partner is having an affair, you experience anger and rage. This is because you are hurt and bitter at what he or she is doing to you without thinking of the consequences. You know that all the investment of time and resources you had been making all these years in building your family is now going to go down the drain. Your are angry because your partner broke the wedding vows as well as your trust, while you yourself went out of the way to make sure the marriage turned out to be successful. Anger can be quite a destructive emotion and you may end up hurting yourself or your partner, so it is very important for you to keep it in check.

Another feeling that gnaws at your heart is that of rejection and abandonment. You feel rejected by your spouse and replaced with a much better candidate. Your self-esteem plunges and you may begin to roll in self-hatred. This is the time when you should turn to your family, friends and children for support. Anything that builds your confidence and allows you to have a good time is helpful, such as planning weekend outings with friends or going on a world tour.

If you have just got divorced, one of the best ways to come out of the rut you find yourself in is to immediately start a romantic relationship with a person you like. The key to coping with infidelity of the spouse is by realising that your partner's adultery in no way reflects on your own self-worth or makes you inferior. Do not attempt to shift the blame of your husband's or wife's extramarital binge on your own self and feel miserable.

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see http://www.quickie-divorce.com