Communicate To Save Your Marriage

By Author: Kathy V. Adams
Total Articles: 1
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There must be communication within a marriage if it is to survive. The main reason that a marriage starts to fall apart is because there is a breakdown in the communication between the couple. Fulfilling the needs of you and your spouse depends on your ability to use direct and truthful communication with one another. By shutting your spouse out of one's life by refusing to talk or to listen to them, a marriage is placed on a course of almost definite destruction.

Resolving issues in a marriage requires good communication where both partners are willing to patiently listen to one another as they each express their inmost thoughts and feelings. Sharing thoughts and feelings requires communication between the spouses. Bottled up emotions usually leads to resentment, arguments, and problems when the emotions are inevitably released. Good open communication depends on stating your issue in a calm and respectful manner. Intimacy is enhanced when spouses share what's in their hearts. Use the words 'I think' rather than 'I feel' in a sentence. In this way your are expressing thoughts and not feelings. Using expressions such ...
... as, "When you (whatever), it makes me feel (however)," sometimes helps to address any issues you might have with the behavior of your spouse in a calmer way. This is a great way to get your partner to fully understand your emotions and reactions.

Listen carefully to your mate if it's your behavior that is at issue. Merely hearing what the person is saying and listening are two different things. To fully understand what the other person is saying, you need to let your partner say everything he or she has to say, and then react to them in an equally calm and respectful manner. If you respond with comments such as "You shouldn't feel tha way," this will only make your spouse feel that you have rejected them.

Take your time before reacting to what your spouse has had to say about your behavior, and this will help you to give a calm and respectful response. Consider the feelings of your spouse, your own feelings, and how this issue has affected your marriage. Stop and think before you react so that you can react with thoughts rather than feelings. Resorting to shouting resolves nothing, and it does nothing towards helping your spouse to better understand your feelings.

After all, isn't finding a solution to the problem the most important thing? Hoping that the problems are going to disappear or deciding that there is nothing that can be done will accomplish nothing. Behavior modification on the part of both parties is necessary to resolve any problem.

Saving your marriage definitely requires modification in communication skills as well. Although it might be hard at first, it is better than resorting to divorce when the relationship turns bad.