Effects Of Divorce On The Children

By Author: James Walsh
Total Articles: 68
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Very often, the parents hold that isolating their kids from their personal turmoil will safely shield them against any possible negative impact of their divorce on them. However, children often tend to be smarter than their parents think. One way or other, they get involved in the family feud and as a result, suffer its harmful repercussions.

Various factors determine the extent to which a child gets influenced by a parental divorce. One of the most important factors in this context is the intensity of conflict between the two parents. Children often tend to suffer more when the intensity of conflict between the two parents is high, as it aggravates their sense of insecurity and isolation. Other factors which determine the quantum of impact of a divorce on children are, the age of the child, the child's gender, his/her personal disposition and temperament and the role of family friends, well wishers and the extended family. A child often tries to come to terms with this tormenting situation, according to his age and level of understanding.

Various factors responsible for causing stress and maladjustment amongst ...
... children in a divorce scenario are as follows:

1) Fear of Change

From a child's perspective, his family and home constitute his entire world. A divorce affects far reaching changes in the lifestyle and social setup of a child, thereby seriously affecting his sense of security and well being.

2) Parental Conflict

The divorcing spouses invariably experience heightened tension and conflict during and immediately after a divorce. This tension may sometimes get prolonged even after a divorce, owing to anger and animosity on the part of the two parents. Children unwontedly get trapped in this adult warfare and often exhibit symptoms of anxiety and stress.

3) Losing Attachment

Children mostly harbour strong attachment for their immediate vicinity, family members and pets. A divorce may usher in drastic changes in these arrangements, thus exposing the children to heightened levels of stress and tension.

4) Fear of Abandonment

In case of a divorce, children do get scared of losing one or both the parents. The get seriously concerned about their well being and survival and often feel insecure.

5) Financial Loss

Single parent households often lack in ample financial resources and this subject the children to hardships and scarcity, which adds to their tensions.

6) Lack of Parental Competence

Due to the pre and post divorce stress and aggression, parents unknowingly get negligent towards their children and sometimes fail to reassure them and support them emotionally.

Effects of Divorce on Children

Impact of a divorce on a child is to a great extent determined by the age of a child at the time of divorce. Infants, though having limited cognitive abilities, do respond to the alterations in the parent's energy levels and mood. They may exhibit symptoms of anxiety and often develop gastric disorders. Toddlers, though mature enough to perceive their circumstances, fail to grasp the dynamics of parental conflict. They may show signs of aggression, distress and may resort to regressive behaviour. Preschoolers are able to detect and feel the absence of non-custodial parent. Yet, they fail to understand the concept of divorce. They may respond by exhibiting symptoms of uncertainty, repressed anger and guilt, aggression, anxiety and grief. Children in this age group often hold themselves responsible for parental separation and feel that they aught to be punished for this. Children at early elementary level often understand divorce at its conceptual and implicational level. They react by showing signs of withdrawal, delinquency, insomnia, eating disorders and various other psychosomatic problems. Adolescents mostly tend to deny the fact that their parents have divorced and often feel cheated and betrayed by them. Their behaviour fluctuates between the extremes of being too good or downright bad. They may resort to a precocious behaviour and many a times develop serious doubts about their ability to fall in love and start a family.

Time and again research has established that the children from the divorced households suffer from negative self concepts, adjustment problems and often tend to be worse off then the kids from intact households. The psychological wounds inflicted by a divorce may take a lifetime to heal, if they ever do.

James Walsh is a freelance writer and copy editor. If you would like more information on how to get a quickie Divorce see http://www.quickie-divorce.com