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Become An Athlete Overnight
Some of the world's top scientists have suddenly realized they can make millions if they help our top athletes cheat drug tests. You'll understand this has gone way beyond getting steroids into a body. The modern approaches involve very sophisticated technology from changing the chemical profile of some drugs so they don't register on the standard tests to replacing the blood - yes, it sounds ghoulish, but it's true. Some athletes really do lie down and hook themselves up to a new supply of blood. If nothing else, it shows how desperate some are to win and so not only get to a big cash prize, but also sign long-term endorsement contracts. Consequently, you'll find some of these white-coated experts playing with hormones to encourage growth and producing undetectable stimulants so their athletes run faster and jump higher. If there are slight injuries, there must be painkillers to mask the pain during the key match. Or, if the sport relies on stillness, as in shooting and archery, you need sedatives to calm the body. The list is growing longer every year. Standing in the way of riches is the World Anti-Doping Agency (WADA) and ...
... the regulators for individual sports within each country. It's their responsibility to devise the tests, and decide when and where to test the athletes.
Those of you watching the recent trial and conviction of Barry Bonds for obstruction of justice, will be aware how high the stakes can be. If the player loses his reputation, all the endorsement contracts disappear. That's millions of dollars down the drain. So everything must be done to mask the use of performance-enhancing drugs. This means avoiding the use of injections which might leave marks. This is slightly unfortunate since research shows that using a tattooing technique - lightly pricking the skin - allows drugs to be absorbed directly into the bloodstream. Unfortunately, it also leaves a vivid mark for some days.
This leaves drugs in tablet, liquid or gas form the most desirable. For example, nitrous oxide is an excellent training aid. You may think this is just an anesthetic used by orthodontists but, like the erectile dysfunction drugs, it dilates the blood vessels and improves the circulation so that oxygenated blood is more efficiently taken up by the muscles. Athletes are also using Cialis in the same way. When the gas or drugs are taken, the muscles are encouraged to take up more oxygen when tired. This builds strength and stamina. Used just before an important game or match, the athlete is more likely to show endurance. When others are tiring, our hero will still feel fresh. This can be the difference between an average performance and a winning push at the end of the game when the others are tired. As a result, WADA has commissioned research to discover whether Cialis does produce a measurable improvement in performance. If there's evidence of an unfair advantage, it will be added to the list of banned substances in time for the next Olympics. While we wait, if you see someone running towards you with a major tattoo, a cylinder of gas on his back and a visible erection, this is an Olympian in training.
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