Love And Age

By Author: Oksana Boichenko
Total Articles: 11
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Working in a dating agency I got used to the letters that went as follows: "I recently met a Russian girl, we have so much in common! She is 18, and even though I am 45, I look very young..", or "I know we have a big difference in age, but I don't look 53..", or "I found out my young wife is cheating on me with a younger person, I am shocked. She never complained about our age difference (I am 50, she is 23)" I am not making fun of the poor guys who wrote such letter and I certainly am sorry if you recognized yourself in one of them. My point is that many men from abroad well past their 40s come to Russia looking for young wives without clearly evaluating a situation at hand. Yes, some relationships where partners share a significant age difference have been successful, but these are far and few between.
Men always seem confident in such relationships, if they look younger than their age. It is true, western men look much better than Russian men of the same age, but your young looks are not glue that will hold your relationship. Any solid relationship is based on inner compatibility and being able to relate with ...
... your partner. Looking for a bride from overseas is a challenge enough: language, culture, difference in mentality is hard enough to deal with for many couples of the same age. Looking for a young bride, you are enhancing a challenge twice its original size, creating a relationship with a girl who has little life experience and whose idea of exploring life is most likely far from yours.
Many men think that young Russian women are more mature, and therefore expect relationships with them to be different. In some sense, these girls do seem more mature - they live in a tough world, where they get to see the inside of life early on. However, a teenager is a teenager anywhere. A young woman (from any country) is a person who is searching for herself, who is discovering what life is about, and who can change with the blow of a wind! She can fall in love today, and fall out of it tomorrow, her taste and preferences change with fashion, everything is fast-paced and fast-lived.
You will also find that many young Russian brides, who are open to having a relationship with an older man, will sooner or later ask for something - green card, money, apartment, etc. You will be lucky, if she honestly asks you about it, instead of pretending she likes being with you.
The best piece of advice I can give you is to be honest with yourself. Men are known for their iron logic, so use it! I know, we all want to believe in miracles and are often in love with love, but be realistic. What would you tell your best friend, if he came and told you of the situation? I am sure, you would first voice every word of caution possible before you would accept such a relationship. It also does not hurt to get input on a situation from a person you trust and whose opinion you value. You should not follow every piece of advice blindly, but if you really trust a person and have had no precedent to doubt his/her sanity and reasoning, perhaps their outlook will open your eyes and tell you something. The old saying "love is blind" is very correct! Being in love with a person, we tend to overlook many things we normally would not. So, if you best friend, mom, brother, etc. is telling you that the situation does not look good, or your lady does not sound genuine, or they don't think it's a good idea - take that as a sign to re-evaluate the situation and look at it objectively.
Despite these young girls' beauty and charm, no teenager will be able to relate to the life of a grown man, or be ready to settle for life. If you are seriously interested in finding a partner, look for more than appearance, select qualities that really matter: experience, loyalty, wisdom, etc. However, if you are interested in boosting your self-esteem by flaunting a young woman, who could well be your daughter, at least do not make long-term plans and call it a relationship.