Preschool Buillying . . . Is Your Child Ready?

By Author: Mark Arens
Total Articles: 27
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Most people think of bullying as something that starts in late elementary school and stretches through high school, but, believe it or not, bullying in preschool is more common than you'd expect.

Because the behavior is typically associated with older kids, it is often overlooked during the young years, when it is hard to tell the difference between normal social experimentation and beginning bullying behavior. Some degree of punching, pinching and generally being "mean" can be normal is preschool children. So when does it need to be addressed as bullying in preschool?

Bullying can cause an enormous amount of stress, fear and anxiety in young children. Other signs that your child might be bullied are that they are suddenly afraid to go to preschool, they complain of headaches or stomachaches for no reason, they are clingy and whiny, they talk about one particular child doing mean things or they avoid eye contact when you talk to them about school. If your child is being bullied, talk to them; talk to the teacher; talk to the director of the preschool! You must do everything you can to stop preschool bullying ...
... before it has a long, negative effect on your child.

If you discover your child is suffering from bullying in preschool, here are some steps you can take to stop preschool bullying.

1. Talk to your child. First and foremost, let your child know you love them and you will take care of them. Re-fill their emotional tank by covering them in words of affirmation and hope. If your child is on the receiving end of toddler bullying, their self-esteem can take a beating and you have the power to build it back up again. Spend time with your child doing fun, positive things so that they can feel comforted and assured of your presence in their life to help them deal with bullying in preschool.

2. Work with the school - do not - try to solve bullying in preschool on your own. Make sure you get the school involved. Everyone from your teacher to the director should know what is happening and should be involved in the solution. Encourage them as well to use loving, positive words with your child. Help encourage and nurture a relationship between your child and their teacher that forms trust. Your child will need someone they can talk to when the bullying occurs. In order to stop preschool bullying the teacher must be working with you.

3. Pray with your child and remind them that they are special, unique, wonderful creations of God and that they were designed to be exactly who they are. It is crucial that children (both the bullied and the bully) trust that God designed each and every one of us to be His magnificent, irreplaceable children. The need to know and believe that God loves them very much and that they will come out of the toddler bullying a better, stronger person.

On the flip side we might wonder, why do some people bully? There are a lot of reasons why children bully. They may see it as a way to be popular, or they are showing off. Some children bully to get attention, and some just like making other people feel afraid of them. Whatever the reason, if you realize your child is bullying other children, stay calm and be prepared to talk and listen to your child. Try to find out how and why they have been behaving this way. Explain to your child that bullying is wrong and try to help your child understand how it is affecting their victim. Give them ideas as to how to better use their energy and give them praise when they follow through. Remain in close contact with your child's school and do not let up as soon as things go well. Bullying in preschool is serious and everyone needs to work together in order to stop preschool bullying.

It is in the best interest of your child to stop preschool bullying right away. Here are some ideas to help you deal with the situation:
Do not make excuses for your child.
Make it clear to your child that you take bullying seriously and you will not tolerate this type of behavior.
Maintain and consistently enforce family rules.
Encourage your child to channel their energy into more positive activities, such as sports, clubs or music lessons.

God does not want His children to hurt. But, as humans, we know we will experience pain in our lives. Remind your kids that God designed them and loves them exactly as they are, and that He will not abandoned them in their pain and need. There are lots of stories about bullying in the Bible, but the one that rings loudest for me is the story of Joseph and his brothers.
Joseph's brothers beat him up, threw him in a pit and the sold him into slavery (Genesis 37). The Bible says, "My strength comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth." (Psalm 121:2) Joseph put his faith in God and was delivered from slavery to sit beside Pharaoh and be one of the most powerful men in Egypt. Your preschooler can be strong and confident because they know God loves them unconditionally.

In the morning as you pray, ask God to prepare your child for the day ahead and give you wisdom so that you and your child will know how to handle each situation and problem that occurs throughout the day. Remind your child that God is big, and very much in love with them, and just like Joseph, He will give both of you the strength to handle your bully and give you the ability to stop preschool bullying.

Through it all, whether your child is being bullied or is doing the bullying, remember Philippians 4:13 which reads, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength."
Mark Arens, the man with a heart for kids, a hand for parents and a "thumbs up" for families, has great resources to help you and your child live a more peaceful, joy-filled life. Thumbpeople, Inc. Come check us out: http://www.thumbpeople.com