Finding Balance: Overcoming Guilt As A Working Mother

By Author: ImPerfect
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In the last decade, we can see an increasing number of married women moving into the workforce in a few months after childbirth. Working mothers often grapple with an elusive work-life balance, feeling the weight of time as they try to fulfill both career aspirations and family commitments.

The stress of feeling like they should always be elsewhere irrespective of whether they are at work or home which leads to feelings of guilt and overwhelm. We will explore the complexities of maternal guilt and offer strategies to reclaim a sense of balance.

Let’s begin by discussing about the Working Mom Dilemma:

Pressure of Dual Roles: In Amy Westervelt’s book “ Forget Having it All” it encapsulates the struggles many mothers face. She mentions that society expects women to work like they don’t have children and raise children as if they don’t work.

This creates a cycle of guilt, where mothers feel inadequate regardless of their choices. Working mothers often feel the pressure of fulfilling both professional and parental responsibilities. For instance, a mother may need to prepare for an important ...
... meeting while also ensuring her children are ready for school, leading to feelings of being overwhelmed and inadequate in both roles.

Time Constraints: The Limited availability of time creates a constant struggle. Many mothers find themselves torn between work commitments and family activities, such as attending school events. For instance, you might yourself be sneaking away from work to attend your child’s exhibition while in the middle of checking your emails which ultimately leads to the feeling of failure.

Guilt and Self Expectation: Working mothers frequently experience guilt about their choices, whether it’s working late or missing a family event. For instance, a mother might feel guilt for choosing to work overtime instead of spending time with her children which leads to feelings of inadequacy and impacts her overall well-being.

Strategies to overcome a working mothers guilt:
1. Ask for Help: Many Mothers struggle with the idea of asking for help. However, seeking support can relieve stress and create a network of mutual assistance. Connect with neighbors, family or other parents to share responsibilities like carpooling or organizing playdates.

2. Forgive Yourself: The first and most important step to guilt is self-forgiveness. Acknowledge that every decision you make has a reason behind it. When the guilt arises, it is important to replace negative self-talk with affirmations of your choices. For example, if you feel bad about working late, remind yourself that you are providing for your family.

3. Revisit your Values: Identify what truly matters to you. If family time tops your list, make conscious efforts to prioritize it. Say no to non-essential commitments and involve your children in daily tasks, turning chores into quality time. For instance, cook dinner together once a week to bond and create memories.

4. Embrace “Good Enough”: Striving for perfection is unrealistic. Embrace the concept of being a good enough parent. Mothers should focus on being present and connected with their children rather than trying to meet every societal expectation. Engaging in meaningful conversations, even if brief, can foster a strong parent-child bond without overwhelming yourself.

Maternal Guilt is often socially accepted, creating an environment where working mothers feel they must justify their choices. Research shows that children of working mothers can thrive, yet societal norms continue to pressure women into feeling guilty about balancing work and family. It is essential to challenge these expectations for the well-being of both mothers and families.

The journey to overcoming guilt as a working mother is ongoing but attainable. By implementing these strategies and fostering a culture that recognises the complexities of motherhood, we can pave the way for healthier, more balanced lives. It is important to remember that mothers are never alone in this struggle and finding your version of balance is not only possible but it’s necessary. By prioritizing self-compassion and support, working mothers can reclaim their well being, ensuring a positive environment for both themselves and their families.

Talk to a professional at ImPerfect(https://imperfect.co.in/) and feel better
The journey of a working mother is a delicate balance between career aspirations and familial responsibilities. The societal pressure to excel in both roles often leads to feelings of guilt, inadequacy, and overwhelm. By understanding the root causes of maternal guilt and implementing practical strategies, working mothers can reclaim their well-being and create a harmonious work-life balance.

It’s crucial to recognize that societal expectations can exacerbate maternal guilt. By challenging these norms and fostering a supportive environment, we can empower working mothers to thrive without compromise. Remember, it’s okay to not be perfect, and seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness.

– Urveez Kakalia and Krupa Abraham