Understanding The ‘ambiverts’

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Among all the thousands of self-help articles out there, we hear often about the introvert and the extrovert — but hardly any attention is given to the ambivert. A combination of the two personality types, the ambivert is a person who requires both solitude and social inclusion to thrive; a combination more common than you might think. The ambivert is a multi-faceted person with an array of charming superpowers, but it takes some understanding to unlock those special skills.

Ambiverts are people capable of doing well in a number of different circumstances, making them ideal candidates for lifestyles and professions in which solitude is common, but socializing is key. With the best and worst qualities of both the introvert and the extrovert, the ambivert isn’t really all that hard to understand when you really get down to the bare bones of it all.

What is an ambivert?

Ambiverts (sometimes referred to as omniverts) are people who contain both the social skills and needs as extroverts, as well as the antisocial needs or tendencies of an introvert. These people are all around us, often called outgoing introverts, ...
... antisocial extroverts or even social introverts. They’re a jack-of-all-trades in the personality and social world, but managing their needs can be a tricky thing.

In the right settings, in the right moods, the ambivert will blossom into the perfect extrovert — charming even the coolest of hearts and making the perfect business partner, host or even charismatic best-friend. In more difficult times, however, the ambivert can shut down, becoming cranky or even toxic as they desperately seek to recharge their batteries through a period of severe introversion.

The special strengths of the ambivert.

Ambiverts are special creatures, and if you can count yourself among them — you might just find yourself possessing a range of incredible skills that make you successful in almost any situation. Being an ambivert is a gift, and with it comes amazing strengths that can improve not only your personal life, but your professional life as well.

Relationship master

Ambiverts are not only social butterflies (part of the time) — they’re also incredibly adept communicators who can quickly master the positive aspects of any personality type they seek to exemplify. One moment, they’re the life of the party and the next minute they’re snuggled down on the couch with a good book. Because the ambivert is so varied and complex, they are able to form deep emotional bonds that help them create strong and lasting relationships.

The expert manager

The ambivert makes a one-of-a-kind manager and there’s even science to back this up. Because they hold the social traits of an extrovert — while also holding the reflective traits of an introvert — they are able to connect with their employees especially well, and relate to their needs on a more understanding level. The ambivert manager can take center stage when needed, but they’re also happy to hand over the reins when appropriate.

Signs you’re an ambivert.

Identifying yourself as an ambivert isn’t always as simple as just enjoying both social and anti-social alone time. Being an ambivert is more about your needs, and how you address those needs through social circles or lack thereof. There are some traits, however, that are entirely unique to the ambivert.

You enjoy a range of personalities

Not everyone has the ability to meld seamlessly with those different from themselves, but the ambivert does. For this reason, they are able to enjoy a wide range of personalities, a skill that allows them to connect and relate to almost anyone. The ambivert is a master of the golden rules of conversation, and does their best to extend the hand of familiarity to all that they meet.

You relate to introverts and extroverts

Most people fall into either the introvert or the extrovert category, but the ambivert relates to both, flipping between both either at will or due to the nature of modern life. In their in-between moments, they crave the peace and quiet of solitude, but their high moments drive them toward the dynamic world of social liveliness. Both charismatic and reserved, the ambivert is a truly unique character.

You have a solid sense of trust

While extroverts can be known to trust too easily (and introverts not at all) — the ambivert is a person who has a good sense of when to trust and when not to trust, something that makes them shrewd business negotiators and even better friends. Ambiverts are also great at sharing information about themselves when it’s most pertinent, making them trustworthy figures to those they seek to connect with on both personal and professional levels.

You love socializing and being alone

The hallmark trait of any ambivert is a need to be both social and alone. It might seem like a contradiction, but it’s not. The ambivert, much like seasons, operates in phases — flipping easily between their need to be surrounded by friends, beside their need to be surrounded by silence.

You’re a flexible operator

Because ambiverts like both stimulating and more sterile environments, they adapt fluidly across a range of envronments. When they’re feeling energetic, they might seek the noise and chaos of a crowd; but when the top comes spinning down, they seek the quiet solitude of a nice book and a cup of tea. They gain energy from both being alone and being with others, making them flexible operators in this increasingly chaotic world.

You often find yourself dialing it back

Ambiverts can fall into the trap of overextending themselves (thanks to their social needs) and as a result, can often find themselves dialing it back or flaking from their social responsibilities and obligations. This is because — unlike the extrovert — the ambivert has to take breaks, or risk depleting their energy entirely. Sometimes, they just need a breather.

You’re a fantastic communicator

One of the less-subtle signs of ambivert tendencies can often be your communication skills. Ambiverts are great at delving into those deep conversations, and they can handle group small talk just as well as they can a deep-dive one-on-one. They’re also good listeners, who surprise their audience by asking questions that matter, while speaking truths that can be both pleasant and unpleasant to hear. The ambivert is a straight shooters and an interested listener — rare skills today.

You find yourself being indecisive

Among all the positive traits and benefits of the ambivert, their weakest is perhaps their indecision. Because ambiverts are both social and anti-social, they don’t always know which outlets to pursue or what state of recharge their in. This is only one reason why it becomes so important to know your ambivert status; to better manage your needs against the needs or wishes of friends, family and co-workers.

How to manage your ambivert nature.

Knowing you’re an ambivert isn’t enough. In order to capitalize on the duality of your nature, it’s important to know when it’s time to be social and when it’s time to take a break. Mastering these phases will allow you to maximize not only your productivity, but your joy and positivitiy as well. Once you know when to give and when to pull back, you’ll unlock some incredible personality-talents you didn’t even know you had.

1. Start planning ahead

Ambiverts have to commit to a little planning in order to balance their needs while manage vibrant personal and professional circles. If you know you have a week full of socializing ahead, plan in a little quiet time where you can get the space you need to rest and recharge, making you the best you can be for the duties ahead.

You can try reserving one day a week for yourself, or build in a regular “break-time” in which you can spend time sleeping, reading or just doing one of the quiet pastime your enjoy solely for yourself. It’s okay to time for yourself, and it’s okay to say “no” every once in a while. If you can’t take care of yourself, you definitely can’t meet the needs — social or otherwise — of others.

The same goes for your social schedule too, however. Too much social time and you’ll burn out; not enough and you’ll find yourself feeling down. If you’re looking at a week alone with limited social engagements, call up some friends and pen down a few hours of BFF time. Stay out of the loop too long, and you’ll forget how to balance it altogether.

2. Learn how to control your environment

While we can’t control the people around us, we can (to an extent) learn how to manage and control the environments in which we find ourselves. The easiest way to do this is by always making sure you are in the environment you need to thrive. This could come down to something as simple as always shutting your office door, or removing yourself from the office entirely — in order to get the quiet you need to focus.

As always, it’s about balance. While ambiverts thrive in quiet moments, they also need social stimulation in order to thrive. A closed office door might work for a while, but that silence will eventually come to be as corrosive as constant interruption. The key is finding the balance and learning how to interject social interaction when you need and solitude when that’s what’s needed instead.

Flexibility is key. Give yourself time to get the levels right, and give yourself time to figure out what you actually need. It takes experimentation to get it right, and it takes listening to your authentic self like you have — perhaps — never listened before.

3. Make “no” a bigger part of your vocabulary

Ambiverts are social creatures, and that can lead them into traps like the ever-threatening over commiting. Learning how to say “no” is one of the most important skills an ambivert can learn, but it’s also one of the most difficult. Because ambiverts do enjoy the social aspects of their lives, they are more likely to fall into people-pleasing tendencies than more antisocial or introverted persons.

Be clear with yourself about your commitments and your needs. Value your time as much as you value your own, and create boundaries that you stick to (and make others stick to as well.) Accepting everything thrown at you isn’t being a good friend, it’s being a bad ally to yourself — so be polite, but firm in turning down the things that don’t suit you or your journey.

Taking time for yourself isn’t selfish, it’s self care. Being an ambivert means you need equal parts socializing and isolation, in order to rest and recharge the facilities you use to balance so effortlessly between the two worlds. If you’re finding yourself overtaxed and overstressed, take a deep breath and practicing using “no” as a bigger part of your vocabulary. You can’t take care of anyone else if you can’t even manage to take care of yourself.

4. Capitalize on your flexibility

Because ambiverts are so flexible, they are able to easily adapt to a number of different situations and environments. They are charged full of energy, and that allows them to connect to almost anyone, and form important bonds no matter who they’re interacting with.

Capitalize on that flexibility by putting yourself into personal and professional positions that allow you to make the most of this rare gift. This kind of flexibility gives you the power to face challenges and tackle success like the genius that you are, but you’ve got to take hold of your life to produce the results that you want.

Flexibility gives ambiverts the step up that the need in order to chase after their dreams with a tangible sense of success. Being able to quickly adapt, ambiverts are also better at managing stress, and more likely to show resilience in the face of adversity or difficulty. Maximize that skill by making it your own.

Putting it all together…

Being an ambivert is a special superpower, but you have to understand that superpower in order to utilize it effectively. Ambiverts have the social prowess of an extrovert combined with the introspective and reflective powers of an introvert, making them a powerful force in our world. If you’re an ambivert, you’re more than likely an excellent boss or co-worker, as well as a dependable and relatable friend and lover — but you have to understand yourself intimately in order to see those things.

Make the most out of your ambivert nature by learning how to observe and mange your environment, taking the time you need to be either quiet or social. By planning ahead, and learning how to identify your needs when they arise, you can tap into your ambivert powers and capitalize on your social flexibility. Don’t overstretch yourself and learn how to make “no” a bigger part of your vocabulary. No matter where you fall on the personality spectrum, you can’t care for others if you can’t care for yourself first. Take care of your needs and then see to the needs of others

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