Getting A Preschooler To Talk About Their Day

By Author: Nalanda Learning
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How can parents encourage their preschooler to talk when the preschooler appears uninterested? Here are some ideas to consider and try.
While this article is intended for parents of preschoolers, some of the concepts can also be applied to older children and teenagers having preschool learning aids.

Short Memories
The first thing to remember is that your child may be telling the truth when they respond to your question with, "I don't remember."
Preschoolers are still developing working memories, and the process is unique to each child. Instead of asking broad questions and expecting them to know the answer, ask specific ones to aid in memory recall. (We'll get to that later.) However, it's entirely possible that the memory has vanished. Accept it and press on.

Give Them A Moment
Don't you enjoy some downtime after you get home from work? Children are no exception. Whether it's bedtime battles, tantrums, or back-to-school stress, not getting enough transition time can be a major cause of big emotions.

Transitions can also be the cause of a child's unwillingness or inability to talk ...
... about their day. If their brains haven't had time to transition from "I'm at school" to "I'm with family," asking them questions too quickly can clog their thinking. When you combine that with their still-developing language skills, it's not surprising that their response to what they did today is, "Nothing."
So allow them to unwind right after school. Allow them to eat, read a book, and feel in control of their world for a while. Then inquire about their day.

Three Strategies for Parents
Here are three strategies to use when trying to learn more about your preschooler's day to help them overcome the difficulty of a short memory and the need for a transition.

Ask In Action
When there are other things going on, it can be easier to talk to another person (especially an authority figure, such as a parent). Take note of when your child is more eager to answer questions. Coloring, going for a walk, driving in the car, or taking a bath can all be used to learn about your preschooler's day. Make sure to experiment with a variety of options. One child may enjoy talking during dinner, but another may feel called out and clam up when everyone stops eating and looks at them.

Ask Specific Questions
"How was your day?" is such a broad question that we shouldn't be surprised if children respond with a broad, "Fine." Inquire specifically about specific people and activities. If your child's preschool has a communication platform or mobile app and study material for preschool, take a moment to review the updates and pictures of your child participating in activities and use these to guide the questions you ask.
Don’t Make It A “Friendly Interrogation”
Your intentions in inquiring about your child's day are obviously good. You're curious about their day! However, asking too many questions too quickly and entering "problem-solving mode" can make your child feel this way...
Keep your questions to a minimum, pay close attention to their responses, and don't jump to "I'll fix it" right away. If your child associates discussing their day with making you angry, they will stop talking. Instead of becoming enraged when you hear someone has taken your child's toy again, listen to their story, sympathize with them, and return to the issue if it's not the appropriate time to discuss it.

The habits, routines, and relationships you establish with your child when they are 4 or 5 years old can last into their adolescence and beyond. Creating clear lines of communication that don't overwhelm aren't pushy, and truly feel safe will make it easier for you to learn about your children's lives for the rest of their lives.

Know more about Nalanda Learning Systems, please visit www.nalandalearning.org.