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Should I Drink In Front Of My Loved One In Recovery?
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If you know someone in alcohol addiction recovery, you have probably wondered the protocol for if or when you should drink in front of them. Although there is no definitive answer, there are a few important factors to consider when you are trying to help your friend or loved one be successful in their recovery.
Know The Difference Between Early Recovery And Long Term Recovery
Addiction recovery is a life-long process and requires the individual to make their sobriety a priority. Imagine if you were trying to implement a new routine to lose weight. At first it takes a lot of effort and time to create this routine, but as the routine becomes part of your daily life it becomes easier to manage.
Recovery also takes time and effort, so while it may seem as though your loved one is not present, rest assured they are working hard to create a healthy, balanced lifestyle. Knowing what recovery stage your loved one is experiencing will help you to decide whether or not it is appropriate to drink around them.
Early Recovery (Under One Year)
In ...
... early recovery individuals are still learning about ways to help themselves stay sober. They are faced with many emotions as the reality of the impacts substances have imparted on their life become apparent. Mitigating craving and urges during this stage can also be very challenging. It may be very difficult for your loved one to be around alcohol during this time.
Manner factors such as the inability to manage triggers and life stress combined with craving can cause a relapse. Not having alcohol readily available could be a great way to prevent relapse at the time a craving occurs.
Sustain Recovery (1-5 Years)
At this point an individual in recovery has likely developed coping strategies and a recovery routine that has become a daily part of their lives. They should still be participating in recovery focused activities. They may be working on mending relationships and building a sober support environment that reinforces their recovery goals.
Long Term (5+ Years)
It is likely that the person feels comfortable within their recovery. They have sustained sobriety through daily maintenance and/or recovery focused activities. As mentioned previously, recovery is a lifelong process and at any stage there is always a potential to relapse.
In order to prevent a relapse it is wise for the individual to continue participation in endeavors that are supportive of recovery. Maintaining ties to elements of their recovery that reinforces sobriety is important.
Note: Cravings and urges can happen at any stage but they will pass. The longer they are in recovery the less craving and urges will arise and the better equipped they will be to deal with them when they do occur.
Consider Your Alcohol Intake
Think about how much alcohol you are consuming. Some people may not be addicted to alcohol but they can still be a binge drinker or problematic drinker. An unhealthy relationship with alcohol can be a risk to a person's physical and mental health. If your consumption is causing negative impacts such as blackouts, legal issues, and inability to control behavior or risky behaviors, being around your loved one while using could potentially put their recovery at risk.
If you are living with a person in recovery, they may wish to have all the alcohol removed from the home. Most often this is recommended in early alcohol addiction recovery to remove any temptation. Talking with your friend or loved one about what they may need is the best way to get an idea of what would be helpful for them.
Ultimately recovery is the alcoholic’s responsibility; they should be communicating what is helpful for them. In treatment they are taught to have a plan in place for triggers and urges. In early recovery individuals have said that even though they know it would be easier to eliminate events where there may be alcohol they do not want to ask friends or family members to change their lives as “it is their problem”.
It is likely that if you care enough about the person to weather the storm alcoholism precipitated, you want to do anything to help them succeed in recovery.
Helpful tips:
Don’t ask if they want a drink.
Try not to draw attention to alcohol or them not drinking.
Practice empathy. If you were trying to quit something would you want to be tempted?
Pay attention, does your friend or loved one seem uncomfortable in situations or events where alcohol is present.
Offer support and understanding.
Consider quitting for a short time or quit drinking around them.
Encourage a sober support system such as Alcoholics Anonymous.
Remember their recovery is their responsibility.
Educate yourself about addiction.
Recovery needs for each person are different and may change as they feel more solid in their sobriety. Although there is not a definite answer as to when or if you should drink around your loved one, there are many things listed above to consider.
Family members and supportive friends who wish to play an active role in their loved ones recovery should seek addiction recovery education and support for themselves. Addiction has been described as a family disease and those who have been impacted by the person struggling with alcoholism may need assistance to help understand and overcome addiction related hardships.
If you or a loved one need help for an addiction or alcohol problem and want to know more about treatment feel free to contact Care Addiction Center.
Care Addiction Center provides compassionate, confidential & professional treatment services for adults suffering from alcohol & substance abuse. We believe that recovery from alcoholism and drug addiction is possible, even in very late stages. Our experienced and caring staff is dedicated to providing comprehensive drug treatment services for alcoholism and substance abuse with multiple levels of care. Substance Abuse Treatment for Kane County, Geneva, Batavia, St. Charles, Elburn, South Elgin, West Chicago, and Aurora Illinois.
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